finding balance moving beyond the past: ADD

I returned home once again to my parents. Luckily I had them to fall back on. Many people do not. For the next year and a half the energy was out there in a short time I found a very good therapist who could help me. I also discovered what my life’s passion was. My creative projects soared to new levels. My self-esteem and confidence started to build and I moved out on my parents’ into my own apartment. There was more upheaval with my parents due to becoming aware of the codependent relationship we had. Plus I learned how to communicate assertively and set boundaries which didn’t go over so well initially with my family. I quit taking the anti-depressants. I couldn’t afford them anyway. I got a cheap bike at the thrift store which allowed me to exercise a lot and put me in creative states of meditation. I got a job I loved for the first time in a plant nursery. Putting my hands in the soil everyday was good therapy.

I started to make plans to return to school to become a landscape architect. Landscape Architecture is a perfect Indigo career. It utilizes my various creative skills including writing as well as helps to save the environment on several levels. To name just a few examples, landscapes architects create wildlife habitats and they can also enhance mass transit and neighborhood designs so people use their cars less. Also my ability to visualize and put things together in 3D in my head comes in real handy.

My therapist diagnosed me with ADD as well as having a learning disability. This brought lots of tears as an explanation as to why I was the “stupidest” in my family became more clear to me. I think it was my absolute determination the kind that insisted that it was not my bedtime when I was a child that made it possible for me to get through high school with such good grades.

My emotions which had been mostly numb since I was a child had started to return. This was the beginning of my awakening and moving into present moment as well as loving myself. I became aware that I was tired or hungry or tense and I would take care of myself when I had neglected my body before.