expanding outside of my familial relationship and having a profound spiritual experience

Back at home I started dating an older man who owned a New Age bookstore. He was really into conspiracy theories and alien stuff. This relationship sort of helped me complete my rebellion against my parents and made me realize that they don’t know anything. I started writing at this point on topics such as “Who is God?” and I took my notebook to church to take note of all the things I disagreed with. This boyfriend was surprised by the fact that I didn’t disagree with everything he was telling me even though I had never heard of this stuff before. (Now I look back on this guy and feel sorry for him because he lived in so much paranoia and it made him a little on the insane side). That summer a tourist passing through our town had his Geo Metro break down and found his way to my boyfriend’s bookstore. The next thing I know I am on a road trip with him headed for the Northwest. At the time I felt like I was on some sort of mission—this inner need to save the planet and in my mind this trip was somehow the answer to that. The guy I was with was a part of some global organization trying to do something to help with the environment. I don’t remember the details. Along the way we decided to fast for three days just to see what would happen. We stopped in Las Vegas and I found the “chi ching” sound of the money clanking in the casinos completely overwhelming. I would have to run outside just to feel relief from this. I didn’t realize at the time that this was because I was an empath. We went on to area 51 and camped outside of it. In the night I felt the ground vibrating beneath us. Still don’t know for sure if it was my imagination. On the third day we stopped in Yosemite. We hiked up to the mist trail and after the bridge I was too weak to go on to the top of the waterfall so I stayed on a boulder near the raging river to wait for him. I laid down and envisioned all the light and energy from the surrounding pine trees and the water being gathered up and then entering me from the crown of my head. (I didn’t think I read about how to do this it just sort of came to me.) When my body was fully relaxed I opened my eyes and stared up at the blue sky. My eyes didn’t focus on the sky, though, but instead on the little molecules of light that you can see in the air. The little lights started to form a pattern similar to watching liquid spiraling in an electric blender. I stared at this portal/worm hole in fascination and then the message came to me telepathically, “Do you want some knowledge?” I knew from my religious background that having knowledge carried with it a great deal of responsibility. The thought of going into the unknown scared me and I sat up with a start.