Friday, November 11, 2011

My Birth

For all you astrologers out there. I was born in Blythe, California (near Joshua Tree National Monument) on October 1, 1974 at 5:21pm. As a new infant (the age before babies start to smile) my mother says that I would spontaneously laugh just like an adult (not like a baby she was very specific about this). These adult laughs made her afraid that maybe I was too attached to the spirit world and would want to return there soon. She said that at night she would rush to my bed to check to make sure I was still breathing.


I must have also been a very intense emotional child which I am to this day. I recall my dad teasing me by quoting Petunia Pig from the old Warner Brothers cartoon: “Jennifer, Jennifer, don’t excited, don’t get excited.” He said it was because I seemed to get so upset over very minor matters. I think it’s because I never fully adjusted to the limitations of this physical reality.

My father told me that one time when I was three he tried to put me to bed, but I didn't want to. He would spank me and I would be right back up and out of bed again. Then he'd spank me again, and again until finally he gave up and let me stay up. In a therapy session I realized that this incident taught me how hostile the world can be and it also showed me just how determined I can be to see what I desire through.

grade school

From the moment I started kindergarten the kids did not like me. I do not know if this had to do with being Indigo because most of the other members of my family were not liked in school either. This played a big role in my self-worth wondering why I wasn’t likeable. I felt so completely abandoned by God.

interest in spirituality begins

In Junior high I wanted so much to fit in and be popular and have a boyfriend. I thought my appearance would make me more likeable and became overly concerned with having perfect hair and nice clothes. I lived in my daydream world this was the only way I could escape the painfulness of school and being the subject of constant teasing and criticism. When I walked home from school, I would zone out and imagine I was traveling in a far off land. I would have whole conversations in my head with imaginary people. Sometimes I would pretend that my life was a movie and even the most mundane things I was doing was being filmed for the movie. It was at this age say 13 that I started wanting to be spiritual. I read books about near death experiences and cried because I missed the love that the authors had experienced on the otherside. At times, I wanted to die because I would get relief from this life. In spite of this desire, I never made any attempts at suicide because I understood from these books that it would only lead to more pain. I started to see my body as just a shell of flesh and blood and it actually kind of disgusted me. I wanted so much to be good. I remember having checklists of all the things my parents’ church had deemed to be what a good spiritual person should do like read the scriptures daily. I would feel disappointed in myself if I was not doing all those things.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Why I was sick in Hawaii March 2009

I talked with my guides and they explained that over the past month I raised my vibration so high that it pushed me up into another vibrational octave. So the body aches and pressure in my head were caused by the effect of energetically being pushed through a birth canal and the mucus was essentially the last dregs of the old octave being wrung out of me. The disconnected, forsaken feeling was because I was in a void while I transitioned. And I'm still not really sure why, but the energy of Hawaii was required for this shift to take place. So my high vibes have returned and I'm really starting to feel good again.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Matrix Energetics

At the beginning of December 2008 I went to a seminar called Matrix Energetics (see My friend described stories of people being instantly healed. At this point in my healing journey, I was growing tired of everything taking so long to heal. So many layers of past traumas that have to be peeled away before you really start to get to a comfortable place. The price for the seminar was more than I had ever paid for anything, but I was so excited about it and I was tired of being limited by my income as to how far I could go with my healing work. So I charged it and as you will see it has been worth every penny.

First Night of Matrix Seminar - Friday December 5th 2008

At first my left brain was trying to figure out an explanation for what my eyes were seeing. People would go up on the stage and they seemed so comfortable up there I figured they must be actors who just fall to the stage floor on cue. Then Dr. Bartlett's dowsing finger pointed at me and I knew I wasn't a plant. I was a little nervous up there trying to get comfortable with the realization that 650 people are staring at me. He placed me in front of this guy who was a computer tech. I said I was a writer. He was doing something along the lines of linking us left brain and right brain. He put his hand up on my shoulder, as he pulled our heads closer together. I looked at his eyes which were just inches from mine and they were staring right past me into a void as if I wasn't there. Then he made some comment about the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and asked if I had seen it. I shook my head, no, and then in the next second my body just fell back without bending a knee to the stage floor. I didn't feel anything. Then he was explaining to the audience that see I didn't even have to understand the archetype he was using in order for it to work.